Kathryn Harrison's The Kiss

I'm reading the book The Kiss by Kathryn Harrison right now.
This is importnat because it signifies my latest craze: the memoir. 
As you know if you've read the about me in the corner, I'm a full time college student.  My major is English with a concentration in creative writing.  Well, as you may have guessed from my blogging adventures, I have a love of non-fiction.  I recently got some advice from my fiction professor: He said when you find a genre you want to write, you need to gather up about ten books from said genre and read the FIRST CHAPTERS.  Apparently, this is a good way to learn the "conventions of the genre."
Well, ladies and gents, I have decided to write memoirs.  I have had a pretty nutso life in my few years of living.  I'm 26 with two kids, on my second marriage, and my first marriage was to a man who couldn't keep his hands off me . . . in that bad way.
All this brings us to the point.
I'm currently reading the Kiss by Kathryn Harrison.
Can I just say . . . WOW.  Okay, so this is a book about a twenty year old girl's consensual, incestuous relationship with her absentee father.  I've been reading a lot of articles about this memoir on the internet, as well as the feedback of a lot of others who commented.  I disagree with a lot of what they say.
1) A lot of people believe since Harrison was twenty when the affair started, she was not abused.  I disagree with this, although maybe not in the legal sense.  What she underwent was certainly abuse because he was in a position of power over her as her father.  The actual relationship, how often they saw each other, all that is irrelevant.  He took advantage of her desire to be wanted by her parent, especially considering she was pretty much abandoned by her mother, as well.
2) People feel as though this shouldn't have been written about, that it crosses a line.  Again, I'm on the other side of the argument.  In memoir, nothing is off limits.  If she would have written about her life and excluded this, what a lie it would have been! You can't write authentically about your life and ignore the major factors that formed your identity.

My final comment is that, while I can't argue how disturbing the subject matter is, the book is written in such a fluid, poetic form of prose that I am having trouble putting it down.  When I try to fall asleep, I think about it.  It's interesting and compelling and the style makes the content . . . palatable. 

I recommend this read to anyone who wants to read a well written piece of non-fiction.

Today my YDD was looked at by the Developmental Specialist who said that all her development was completely normal. Except in her growth. I am so frustrated and saddened by this. I think she's a healthy toddler with a really high metabolism, but I am not a doctor. I know she is fed multiple times a day. I know I give her ranch dressing to dip her foods in and Graham crackers with a strawberry cream cheese spread and pour melted butter on her food. I know I'm doing everything I can to make her grow.
I hate the whole process.
If she has seen an endocrinologist and they can't find a problem with her, her pedi can't find a problem with her, and all these specialists say she's a bright, healthy baby, why do we have to mess with this nonsense? Why can't it just be accepted that she's small.
Then my grandma called me today and wants to know if she can buy the kids vitamins to give to them up at her house. I said no because I give them vitamins and I dont want to accidentally double up their vitamins at some point.
She HUNG up on me!
I called back and said that I had no idea why she was being so rude to me. She hung up on me again.

My Little One

My older daughter stayed at my grandmother's tonight. I have been informed she also refused her meat because she didn't want to eat "tortured animals." I told her that I was proud of her, but that she could eat meat anytime she wanted and that she didn't have to stop just because I am. She decided she would still ear sausage and *maybe* bacon.
Ahhh, pork. That is going to be the meat I miss the most. Like I told my husband today, it wouldn't be worth doing if it were too easy.
Tonight was the first time I have had fish since I started this whole thing. I ate crab stuffed mushrooms.

On an unrelated note, a friend of mine is taking a mission trip to India this summer to help girls and women who are victims of the sex trade. This stirs up a lot of emotion ine. I feel jealous that she has the chance to do something so meaningful, saddened that this kind of stuff occurs, but mostly inspired to find something that I can do to help.
What to do, what to do.
I thought of maybe putting together an event to crochet or knit scarves, hats, and blankets for the homeless in my town that the shelter could give out or perhaps for the domestic violence shelter. It would be a small thing to do, but if I started organizing now, by winter we could get a lot done. Hmmm...

Permanent

March 4, 2011

I want to make some changes in my life.  Some things I know I want to do, but don't know how to start.  Other things, I know what to do, but it's a matter of willpower.  The name "Change For Good" is two-fold.  It's addressing my desire to change my life in positive ways and my desire to make those changes stick.

1) I have recently become a pescetarian, which is a person who eats fish, but no other meat after watching the documentary "Food, Inc."  I'm on day four and, so far, it's been remarkably easy to make this change.  I've been eating salads and pasta a lot, but also some soy and yesterday I had the best falafel ever.  Chickpeas are a good source of iron, so . . .

2) I want to spend more time playing with my kids.  I go to school full-time and by the time I get home, I'm exhausted although not so much since I cut the meat.  I tend to put on cartoons and space out until dinner, then give them dinner, and then get them ready for bed.  I want to cut all TV while the kids are awake during the week. It will be hard to do, that one actually really scares me. I'm like so many of us, I plop kiddos in front of word world so I can cook, or do schoolwork (or have twenty minutes alone to play The Sims). What now?

3) I want to nag my husband less, even though I find him annoying a lot of the time. More on that later.  I don't have a course of action mapped out yet.

4)I want to grow ALL my vegetables this summer except my potatoes.  I live in an apartment and don't really have space for them.  Maybe I'll also buy corn.  Everything else, though, I'm going to know where it came from.

5) The last one, but the big one.  There are a few hot button issues for me in the world, thing that really bother me, but I don't do anything about them.  I want to quit doing that.  I will find a way to help with these things.

This blog is going to be my experience with these changes over the next year and it's going to be honest and it's going to change.  If I slip and eat a big old fat side of bacon, I will post.  If my veggies all die, I'll post.  Mostly, though, I hope someone out there will read this and know that I'm just a full time student and a mom of two but I'm going to make changes that I hope will impact the world in some way, even though there is nothing special about me.  My thought is that hopefully people will see that if I can do it, if I can CHANGE my life, anyone can and then they'll be inspired to change, too.